(surprise — it’s NOT about willpower or hard work!)

We grow up hearing words of wisdom like:

“Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration“ – Thomas Edison
“Willpower is the key to success“– Dan Millman

Well, they’re WRONG.

It’s a good thing, too, because you’ve probably noticed you can’t always count on your “willpower,” and frankly, you just don’t like “hard work” — even if you’re a hard worker.

Indeed you may have had the unpleasant experience of working really hard on something you want — like weight loss, a business, or a dream — and being really determined, yet failing all the same…

Does this mean you must be an idiot, or a lazy, bad person?  No, of course not!
It just means you missed one, or more, of the 6 Secrets that Supercharge Success.

People who are highly successful intuitively apply these 6 Secrets, without being aware of the process they’ve used to succeed. I only discovered the 6 Secrets myself when I interviewed some of my clients a year or two after they’d done vision board workshops with me.

Talking to them, I noticed something interesting: those who fulfilled their dreams and manifested everything on their vision boards, had applied the same 6 Secrets.  And of those who didn’t succeed, or only partially succeeded, all missed 1 or more of the Secrets.   Apparently all 6 Secrets are needed to make the difference between flourishing success, beyond your imagining… and failure.

Which of these 6 Secrets That Supercharge Success have you been leaving out?

(We’ll be delving into the 6 Secrets, and applying them, in my 6 month “Grow Your Dreams Intensive” starting in June.)

Secret #1  Plant the SEED.

Get clarity about what you truly want and who you authentically are — your big vision — with visioning tools.

Stay focused and inspired by creating a visual reminder (vision board, “Possibility Portrait”).   Then create intentions & creative projects aligned with your vision.

This clarity, focus & inspiration is the seed for everything.

Secret #2  Build the SOIL.

Create conditions that nurture the changes you desire — with practices, social support, rituals, and structural  changes that make these changes easy. No more frustration, or beating yourself up!

• Practices: supportive activities you do daily or weekly, like meditation, exercise, journaling, eating healthily, scheduling time to pay bills or be out in nature;
• Social support could be a Mastermind group, a virtual assistant, coach or mentor, exercise buddy, joint venture partner, trusted confidants, a loving partner ;
• Rituals: symbolic actions or ceremonies that mark (or create) a shift from one stage or state to another. Rituals can be as simple as your morning coffee that tells you “time to get to work”, or as elaborate and meaningful as a milestone birthday party or graduation ceremony;
• Structural changes in your environment, such as a better filing system, clearing out junk, setting up an altar or meditation area, reorganizing your office, creating a studio space in your home.

Secret #3 WATER.

Take action aligned with your big vision — persistently, purposefully, patiently, playfully! –  to bring it to life.  (Without purposeful action regularly “watering” your vision, your vision is just a fantasy and will never become real.)

There are many ways to take action. What’s key is to break bigger actions down into bite-sized, manageable chunks, and keep taking actions in your stretch zone, where you’re a bit uncomfortable or even slightly scared. (Stay in your comfort zone = no progress; stretch too far = panic zone and overwhelm!)

Secret #4  WEED.

Uproot the limiting beliefs and situations that hold you back. The first step is to notice that you have beliefs, and perhaps situations, that are stopping you on multiple levels from fulfilling your dreams.

To uproot them, address the 4 levels on which they effect you:

• mentally.  “Reframe” limiting beliefs and positions, with tools like Byron Katie’s “The Work,” Landmark Education exercises, or affirmations used with a vision board.
• emotionally. Working with images can be very effective here. Some tools: dream work; “Re-seeing” vision boards;  using archetypes, symbols, or animal totems in creative expression — art work, dance, mask-making, acting exercises;
• physically. Take action in the face of fear; use massage or other bodywork to move through emotional blocks; take challenges such as a high ropes course or walking on hot coals;
• energetically. Tools: Reiki, Kundalini yoga, Shamballa, healing energy work, shamanic journeys…

Secret #5. FEED.

Use feedback to focus and deepen your growth and your vision. Seek 3 types of feedback: from Source or your inner wisdom; from people who support your growth & vision; and visual feedback.

• Feedback from Source: Tools: “Tracking” to confirm that you’re on track with your big vision; prayer; “Active Imagination” journaling; meditation.
• Feedback from trusted people such as a coach, mentor, Mastermind group, advisors, or sacred circle. Brainstorm solutions together; seek suggestions; make yourself accountable to take uncomfortable — but liberating — actions;
• Visual feedback is any way to see progress toward goals. Examples: keep chart of “how did I do today?” for goal, practice, or intention; write action steps on Post-It notes and move them to “Accomplished!” poster as you complete them.

Secret #6. HARVEST.

Truly receive all the goodness in your life!  Give thanks for results received, celebrate accomplishments big and small, practice gratitude and acknowledgement daily.

The more you do this, the more there is to receive…

Want to see what’s the most strategic thing you can do to grow your dreams?

Apply for a *FREE* “Grow Your Dreams” Strategy Session: Click here to fill out the form!

“Hi Pamela,

Most of the people in my life are, and always have been, employees.  They either don’t take my efforts to build my own business seriously, or they outright warn me not to quit my job.  The unspoken message is clear:  ‘you’re not good enough or smart enough to build a successful business‘ (at least that’s the impression I get).  These are people who have always played it safe.  Of course, I used to be one of them!

I am building relationships with other woman business owners, but my closest friends and family members are still important to me — and I have a hard time ignoring their negative messaging!  Any advice as to how to handle that would be helpful.

Thanks so much,

You can’t force them to change; the only thing you can control is your reaction to their comments. Fortunately there’s a lot of power in that.

Consider that your “impression” isn’t the only possible interpretation. Could it be that rather than criticizing you, they’re just expressing their own fears? They love you, and want to protect you from all the dangers they imagine. And since you know the joy of stretching yourself and pursuing what matters to you, you can be compassionate with these folks who have always played it safe and are too timid to even let themselves dream.

How this might look: “Thanks, Uncle Jim, I know you want the best for me and are worried what will happen if I quit my job. I appreciate how much you care.”

If they persist in being negative, don’t try to justify or explain yourself (they won’t get it!) — just smile appreciatively, say “thanks, I’ll think about that,” and change the subject.

If you can keep on seeing and acknowledging the love behind their “criticism,” you might be amazed at how much the criticism can soften.

Let me know how it goes!

You’re luckier than you know, surrounded by so much caring “criticism” (grin)…

All the best,
Pamela

“I don’t deserve it!” As soon as the words blurted from my mouth, I felt tears of embarrassment. How could I say something so stupid — after all the work I’ve done, too!

I was at Miraval Spa in Tuscon AZ as part of my year-long Sassy Mastermind business-and- spirit adventure with mentor Lisa Sasevich, and I’d just been asked by fellow member Amethyst Wyldfyre (right) why I wasn’t willing to spend $65 on a spa treatment I wanted.

Because I’ve never been to a spa. Because I don’t “waste money.” Because I’m not like the “spoiled rich people”  who go to spas.(!?) Because I don’t deserve to do nice things for myself….

Yikes. As Amethyst and I talked, I saw how deeply this limiting belief has been sabotaging my business and my life (and distanced me from all the perfectly lovely “rich people” out there). It’s stopped me from:

* asking for help when I could have really used it. (Anyone else out there feel you always gotta handle it yourself?)

* charging for my services according to the value I deliver. (Anyone else out there waaay undercharging?)

* receiving what I want and need to fulfill what matters to me — $$, self-care, time off, taking in all the love and support around me. (Anyone else who’s struggled and stressed and not taken care of yourself, although you KNOW you have a lot to contribute and can’t when you’re stressed out?)

Even though I could see how how destructive my limiting belief was, I knew it’d come up again…

So I created an alternative thought to tell myself when “I don’t deserve it” shows up: “I am SO worth it!” –with hand on hip, tee hee.  (We call this “reframing your limiting belief” in Vision-Powered Planning.)

I’m also practicing an affirmation I got at Miraval: “I am open to receiving my heart’s desire.”

And darned if I didn’t receive one of my heart’s desires just a few hours later: in my “hotseat” coaching with Lisa Sasevich and Lisa Cherney, above, I received deep affirmation of the value and uniqueness of my Possibility Portraits — and the path to serving many more people, at a much higher level, for far more money, than I’d ever imagined.

In fact I’ve experiencing “receiving my heart’s desire” many times since then. Like in this moment: the late winter sun, surprisingly warm, just blazed out from behind the clouds. What more could my winter-weary heart desire?

Part of receiving all the good around me is also acknowledging it: for example telling the Miraval massage therapist how blessed I felt by his work and all that I received from it. (Added joy: seeing how touched he was by my appreciation…)

Lisa Zimmerman of www.soullevelsolutions.com calls receiving “the energy of allowing love (undefended) to flow into your heart” and says receiving is a spiritual practice for all “serial givers.” Are you a “giver” — or thwarted giver — too?

We can only give fully to others when we treat ourselves with love, respect and kindness. And the world needs each of our gifts!  So what’s something kind you can do for yourself today?  How much are you willing to receive?

– and how you CAN fulfill your goals for 2010!

Reason #1: Resolutions come from failure and guilt.

We tend to make resolutions to overcome past failures (”this time, for sure!”). For example, if you feel bad that you’re:

* out of shape — you resolve to work out at the gym;
* yelling at loved ones — you resolve to be calmer;
* in debt — you resolve to get control of your finances.

BUT no matter how great your resolutions sound, they carry the seeds of defeat:

Since resolutions come from a need to “fix” yourself, they are unconscious reminders of your past failures and “unworthiness.” Ironically enough, resolutions reinforce your inner critic’s harshest judgements: “you’re a failure, and you’ll be in big trouble if you don’t do better!!” The resulting shame, doubt, and anxiety practically guarantee you’ll fail again.

What DOES work: goals that come from your heart.

Use visioning to bypass your inner critic and tap into your inner guidance system, and uncover what you really want.

Visioning helps you release what’s negative in your past, step outside the constraints of the present, and start fresh — from your intentions, dreams, longings, and core values — to envision a better tomorrow that begins NOW.

Why this works: visioning leaves you truly inspired, rather than “motivated” by external threats or internal criticism. It also gives you new clarity, and helps you tap into your own creative powers and begin to see resources and opportunities.

Keeping resolutions is hard work; but following your vision is a joy! I recommend visioning twice a year — for example at the New Year and summer solstice — to stay inspired, focused, and true to yourself.

Don‘t know how to do effective visioning? Check out our January “Vision-Powered Planning Retreats” or my “Treasure Mapping Kit” you can do at home.

Reason #2: Resolutions are “all in your head.”

Sometimes we write down our resolutions — which dramatically increases their success rate — but usually they only exist in our heads. No wonder 36% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by February, and 90% fail to last a year!

(Yup, research proves this: Journal of Clinical Psychology, Volume 58, Issue 4 2002).

What DOES work: goals you see and feel every day.

Write down your heart-felt goals AND make a visual reminder (vision board) of how it feels to attain them. Look at it every day!

Why this works: Visual images speak the language of emotions and dreams. Using them wisely can reshape your self-image, improve your mood, and shift negative beliefs.

Images also activate the brain’s A.R.A.S. (Ascending Reticular Activating System), which is believed to be the center of arousal and motivation. (No wonder advertising relies so heavily on pictures…)

Vision boards make your goals seem tangible and achievable, and keep you motivated to take new actions to fulfill them. They also help dissolve negative beliefs that are holding you back, and guide you to see yourself as already successful in what matters to you — even if you have no idea how to do it now. Many people find that vision boards help them manifest results far beyond what they know how to achieve. (See examples.)

Our January “Vision-Powered Planning” Retreats and home
“Treasure Mapping Kit” make it easy to create a powerful,
beautiful vision board.

Reason #3: Resolutions leave success up to iffy “will power”.

“Will power” alone is rarely enough to make big changes in our lives, or to fulfill big goals. Without accountability, tools, and support, it’s human nature to slip back into our old ways — or stay stuck. So why struggle to do it alone, and beat yourself up when you inevitably lack “will power”? You’re only human.

What DOES work: social support, accountability, integrity, and new actions.
Social support & accountability: find a partner, hire a coach, create a team, join a group, share your vision with supportive people.
Accountability tools: create S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, achievable, results-oriented, time-specific); track results & accomplishments; note what’s missing when you fail.
Integrity – knowing yourself as someone who honors your word — starts with telling the truth when you fail (or are about to fail) to do what you said. Notice what’s missing, put it in, and make a new promise.
Take new actions aligned with your goals. When you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself, “what’s my very next step?”. Use your support, accountability, and integrity to do it.

Our January “Vision-Powered Planning” Retreats will give you all the support, accountability, and tools you need to fulfill your vision.

The home-study “Treasure Mapping Kit” comes with a manual of supportive “Power Tools” to use with your vision board.

Ready for something new in your life in 2010?

Let me support you with a live visioning retreat or an inexpensive do-it-yourself vision board kit.

To your success and fulfillment!

Love,
Pamela

P.S. And remember that you may want many things, but as the Beatles song says, “all you need is love.”

Here’s my gift for you — a great video that I think you’ll really enjoy; it shows what the power of love can look like all over the world:
All You Need Is Love

Enjoy!