Inner Vision Portraits - Custom Painted Portraits

I created a new collage workshop, called “Who You Are For Me”, and previewed it recently at my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary celebration in DC. This workshop guides people to explore and deeply acknowledge all that they appreciate about one another.

My parents and their 40+ guests, aged 7 to 83, found it surprisingly fun — most of them had never done anything like this before — as well as quite moving. It was so cool to see all these very different people willing to spontaneously do something “weird” and heart-opening to honor my folks. (My dad had been sure that only “the kids” would want to make collages.) And they had a great time!

I’m putting all the lovely collages the guests made, and their written acknowledgements, into a scrapbook for my folks. Friends and relatives from all over are also sending theirs in. Some of them are people my parents haven’t talked with in ages, and it’s so gratifying to see the pleasure these far-flung folks have anyway in acknowledging who my parents have been for them.

I think the best part for me was when my mom was looking over the pile of collages and writings afterwards. There was wonder in her voice as she noted, “all these different people keep saying how loving and creative and generous I am!” (She has it that she’s not appreciated or really known and doesn’t have any friends… and there was 40 pages of powerful evidence to the contrary.)

All too often, we hang out only with people like us — similar ages, ethnic backgrounds, incomes, interests, marital status, even physical condition ….

It’s rare for women from all sectors of society to get together to celebrate and connect.

Yet there’s an opportunity to do just that on March 28th in Ithaca NY. If you’re a woman within driving distance of Ithaca, I encourage you to join me at:

The 4th Annual Sister Friends Luncheon
in honor of Women’s History Month
3/28/08 11:00am - 3:00pm
Clarion Hotel, Ithaca NY

I’ll be displaying a couple of my “possibility portraits” at this wonderful, exciting event that celebrates women of all ages, sizes, religions, ethnicities and cultures.

The women’s market is open from 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m; the luncheon begins at 11:30 a.m. and the program at 12:15 p.m. This is an amazing multicultural, multi-generational, women-bonding event.

The cost is only $15.00, and tickets are available from GIAC (the Greater Ithaca Activities Center) at 318 N. Albany Street in Ithaca and at the Multicultural Resource Center in the Cornell Cooperative Extension building, 615 Willow Ave (off Rt.13) in Ithaca. This popular annual event will sell out, so get your tickets soon…

For tickets or more information call Audrey J. Cooper 272-2292, ext. 135 or email her at ajc3@cornell.edu.

I’m just back from an amazing weekend in NYC where I assisted at a Landmark Seminar Leaders’ training weekend. (It was a gathering of seminar leaders and Landmark Forum leaders from all over the eastern US and Canada, a bunch of very high-powered folks engaged in intensive training.)

I was invited to assist, and jumped at the chance to get some high-level leadership training — for free!

So I was disappointed — to put it mildly — to be assigned to the “leader support team” (making coffee, picking up take-out meal orders, preparing the dining area, cleaning the kitchen, running errands) instead of the “production team” who got to stay in the room throughout the training. I requested to switch to Production, but they “needed me more” on Leader Support.

I put up with it all day Saturday, getting crankier and crankier:
“I’m missing everything! Grrr grrr. They say leader support is about ‘being of service,’ but I don’t WANT to ‘be of service’ — I’ve had plenty of that being a mom. I want to get trained to be a leader. I want to learn something, goddammit!”

By Sat. night I decided “I will finish this but I am never assisting again.” (It didn’t help that my feet were killing me — I’d stupidly worn high-heeled boots and was on my feel from 7:30 AM until 10:30 PM with only brief breaks.)

Sunday morning, I arrived 15 minutes late. The course supervisor asked me why I was late, and after I gave my excuse, she asked, “OK. Why else are you late?” I admitted that I was resisting the whole idea of “being of service” and didn’t want to be on the Leader Support Team.

She replied,”well guess what, you are. And your team has had one breakdown after another this morning; they really need you. So are you going to be part of this team, and provide service to these leaders so they can do their jobs, or not?”

I decided right then that I would. And I had the most amazing day!

I discovered, really for the first time in my life, the joy of being of service — anticipating people’s needs, providing what they want with efficiency and grace, making their problems magically disappear, being generous and loving and calm if they feel harried, and accomplishing big tasks with ease as part of a supportive, loving team.

I felt completely lit up, so happy and peaceful, as I floated from task to task. (I also got to spend time in the seminar leaders training, and every piece I heard went directly to my heart.) I couldn’t stop smiling and feeling moved to tears, even while looking at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth before bed. (Kinda messy… :-) )

By the end of the weekend, my idea of “leadership” was transformed from something like “showing off and being smarter than others” to the joy of being of service. My intention for the weekend was fulfilled in a way I never could have anticipated.

And now I see people being of service everywhere.

For example, take my husband, the original “Pushover Daddy.” I’ve always resented his “laxness” with our girls — surely he was spoiling them with his willingness to pick up after them, wait on them, anticipate their every need, and give up what he wants so they can have what they want. (Sure made me look like the bad guy, anyway, since I had no intention of doing any of this…)

Now I see this as his exceptional generosity and willingness to be of service. And this desire of his to serve our daughters in every way possible hasn’t hurt them at all: in fact they’re remarkably kind, generous, and respectful teens, not the monsters you might expect.

Hmmm… maybe having someone provide service to you on such a deep level unconsciously assures you that you’re profoundly loved and valued. Maybe if everyone had this experience, the world would be a much happier place…

All I know is, I’ll never look at humble tasks like cleaning and care-taking the same way. And I have a whole new way to be when I lead a “Collage Your Self” workshop this Sunday, and another “Treasure Mapping” workshop on February 17.

The Inner Vision blog is an exploration of mindfulness, inspiration, transformation, and how we connect to each other and what matters. It’s also about play, creativity, and sustainability — on many levels.

I’m on a journey of discovery, and I invite you to travel with me.  Let’s share the ride…