How to “Build the Soil” and Make the Changes You Want Easy
Build the SOIL to nurture your growth!
The second of the 6 Secrets that Supercharge Your Success is “Build the SOIL” (create the favorable conditions) that make growth and change EASY.
If you garden, you know that plants need the right soil and conditions to grow:
Put a beautiful, healthy plant in rocky soil that doesn’t provide what it needs — and it will soon wilt, or even die.
We’re a lot like that beautiful plant. We have so many gifts, so much love, so much wisdom and vision to share (that’s what makes us beautiful!) — but often the conditions around us make it hard for our gifts to bear fruit. Or worse, they cause our gifts to shrivel up so that even we can’t see their beauty.
Indeed poor conditions affect growth and success in every area of life: health, finance, relationships, organization, happiness… And cause lots of unnecessary stress and frustration.
The good news: you can easily create conditions that support you!
But first, you have to lift your head up from banging it against the wall (metaphorically, I hope!), and see what’s missing.
4 Simple Steps to See What’s Holding You Back — and what you can do about it!
Take a habit you want to change, or an area of your life where you feel stressed or dissatisfied:
1. List exactly what you’re currently doing (or not doing) in this area, and how that makes you feel.
2. Now, how do you want things to be in this area? What’s your goal? And if you achieved it, how would it feel?
3. What’s MISSING that would help you feel more satisfied and successful in this area, and/or make it easier to achieve your goals or vision? (”What’s missing” might be as simple as a hug or a nap, or as complex as a support network or workable filing system. Note: if you answered that what’s missing is “time” or “money”, dig deeper…)
4. What conditions can you put in place that will fulfill what’s missing?
Here’s an example, a woman I worked with wanted to lose weight:
In step 1 she saw that her habit of coming home from work and having a couple of drinks led her to over-eat.
In step 2, she realized that this habit fulfilled a need (”bad” habits tend to): she needed to relax when she got home from work! But she wanted to be able to relax after work AND also lose weight… that would feel great.
In step 3, she identified was missing: a way to relax after work that didn’t lead to weight gain.
In step 4, she created conditions to make it easy to relax after work without over-eating: she decided to set up her paints and easel right where she sat down when she got home. “Playing with color is really relaxing and fun for me!” she explained. “I’ll do that instead of snacking. And I’ll make a cup of tea when I get home, instead of pouring a glass of wine.” (To make that easier, she put the teas down on the counter and moved the wine up out reach.)
There are 4 general categories of nurturing conditions. Which will help you the most with your habit or goal?:
- Practices: nurturing activities you do regularly (daily or weekly), such as meditating, exercising, keeping a gratitude journal, eating healthily, “clearing” yourself before leading an event or class, scheduling “dates” with your partner, or asking for help when you want it.
- Social support: creating and using a network of people who support you. Your network could include a Mastermind group, board of directors, or friends who support your vision; paid helpers or advisors, such as a coach, virtual assistant, babysitter, or accountant; partners, like an exercise buddy or joint venture business partner; and confidants, people whose advice you trust and who you allow to know you “warts and all.” Note: you have to give on the same level you want to receive support — in time, energy, or money.
- Rituals: symbolic actions or ceremonies that mark (or create) a shift from one stage or state to another. Rituals can be as simple as your morning coffee that tells you “time to get to work”, or as elaborate and meaningful as a milestone birthday party or graduation ceremony. Rituals tend to be under-used in our culture; a valuable one that’s very simple is the personal retreat (or an “artist date,” from The Artist’s Way.) Even a few hours alone in a pretty spot with your journal can profoundly shift things…
- Physical changes that restructure your environment, such as clearing out clutter, reorganizing your office, setting up an altar or art space in your home — or setting up painting supplies in the kitchen and moving the wine.
Want help seeing conditions that will make it easier to fulfill your goals?
Apply for *complimentary* Strategy Session with me, where we examine your business or big project, your goals and challenges, and where you are now and where you want to be. Then we’ll discover what is the single most important thing you can do now to get to that place.
If your application is accepted, get ready for a powerful, inspiring, and potentially life-changing conversation — at no charge! Apply now
