3 Hidden Reasons that New Years Resolutions Don’t Work
– and how you CAN fulfill your goals for 2010!
Reason #1: Resolutions come from failure and guilt.
We tend to make resolutions to overcome past failures (”this time, for sure!”). For example, if you feel bad that you’re:
* out of shape — you resolve to work out at the gym;
* yelling at loved ones — you resolve to be calmer;
* in debt — you resolve to get control of your finances.
BUT no matter how great your resolutions sound, they carry the seeds of defeat:
Since resolutions come from a need to “fix” yourself, they are unconscious reminders of your past failures and “unworthiness.” Ironically enough, resolutions reinforce your inner critic’s harshest judgements: “you’re a failure, and you’ll be in big trouble if you don’t do better!!” The resulting shame, doubt, and anxiety practically guarantee you’ll fail again.
What DOES work: goals that come from your heart.
Use visioning to bypass your inner critic and tap into your inner guidance system, and uncover what you really want.
Visioning helps you release what’s negative in your past, step outside the constraints of the present, and start fresh — from your intentions, dreams, longings, and core values — to envision a better tomorrow that begins NOW.
Why this works: visioning leaves you truly inspired, rather than “motivated” by external threats or internal criticism. It also gives you new clarity, and helps you tap into your own creative powers and begin to see resources and opportunities.
Keeping resolutions is hard work; but following your vision is a joy! I recommend visioning twice a year — for example at the New Year and summer solstice — to stay inspired, focused, and true to yourself.
Don‘t know how to do effective visioning? Check out our January “Vision-Powered Planning Retreats” or my “Treasure Mapping Kit” you can do at home.
Reason #2: Resolutions are “all in your head.”
Sometimes we write down our resolutions — which dramatically increases their success rate — but usually they only exist in our heads. No wonder 36% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by February, and 90% fail to last a year!
(Yup, research proves this: Journal of Clinical Psychology, Volume 58, Issue 4 2002).
What DOES work: goals you see and feel every day.
Write down your heart-felt goals AND make a visual reminder (vision board) of how it feels to attain them. Look at it every day!
Why this works: Visual images speak the language of emotions and dreams. Using them wisely can reshape your self-image, improve your mood, and shift negative beliefs.
Images also activate the brain’s A.R.A.S. (Ascending Reticular Activating System), which is believed to be the center of arousal and motivation. (No wonder advertising relies so heavily on pictures…)
Vision boards make your goals seem tangible and achievable, and keep you motivated to take new actions to fulfill them. They also help dissolve negative beliefs that are holding you back, and guide you to see yourself as already successful in what matters to you — even if you have no idea how to do it now. Many people find that vision boards help them manifest results far beyond what they know how to achieve. (See examples.)
Our January “Vision-Powered Planning” Retreats and home
“Treasure Mapping Kit” make it easy to create a powerful,
beautiful vision board.
Reason #3: Resolutions leave success up to iffy “will power”.
“Will power” alone is rarely enough to make big changes in our lives, or to fulfill big goals. Without accountability, tools, and support, it’s human nature to slip back into our old ways — or stay stuck. So why struggle to do it alone, and beat yourself up when you inevitably lack “will power”? You’re only human.
What DOES work: social support, accountability, integrity, and new actions.
Social support & accountability: find a partner, hire a coach, create a team, join a group, share your vision with supportive people.
Accountability tools: create S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, achievable, results-oriented, time-specific); track results & accomplishments; note what’s missing when you fail.
Integrity – knowing yourself as someone who honors your word — starts with telling the truth when you fail (or are about to fail) to do what you said. Notice what’s missing, put it in, and make a new promise.
Take new actions aligned with your goals. When you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself, “what’s my very next step?”. Use your support, accountability, and integrity to do it.
Our January “Vision-Powered Planning” Retreats will give you all the support, accountability, and tools you need to fulfill your vision.
The home-study “Treasure Mapping Kit” comes with a manual of supportive “Power Tools” to use with your vision board.
Ready for something new in your life in 2010?
Let me support you with a live visioning retreat or an inexpensive do-it-yourself vision board kit.
To your success and fulfillment!
Love,
Pamela
P.S. And remember that you may want many things, but as the Beatles song says, “all you need is love.”
Here’s my gift for you — a great video that I think you’ll really enjoy; it shows what the power of love can look like all over the world:
All You Need Is Love
Enjoy!
