What fully expressing yourself looks like…
A friend just shared this video “Thoth: Performing at the Angel Tunnel — a way of life; a way of being…”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGVGwpxg7yA. It touched me deeply and resonated in ways my friend would never suspect; it was a message I needed to hear.
I was immediately hooked just by the name “Thoth” (in my first and only Tarot card reading recently, I was told that my card is Thoth the Messenger…)
Then when S.K. Thoth started explaining the imaginary world behind his music and dancing, I was suddenly thrown back to early adolescence (12-15) when I created an imaginary world of my own. It was called Ganter Galia, and it too had its own languages, maps, religions, writing systems, peoples, cultures, history, and characters.
I created GG with my best friend Smita, and one of the many ways we evolved GG was performing sacred dances and songs for each other in honor of the Ganter Galian gods and goddesses and their myths, much like S.K. Thoth’s operatic story cycle.
Wow, I never knew anyone else did that…
In some ways GG was the most fully self-expressed period of my life: I wore strange clothes, danced and sang passionately, filled notebooks with GG writings and drawings, composed music on the piano and cello, invented GG food (and brought it to school in my lunch box…), kept a dream journal, experienced altered states of consciousness in what I now recognize was meditation, even had visions.
Not surprisingly I was a totally weird outcast in jr. high. But I didn’t care — I knew I had god-like powers of creation that others, poor things, were far too “normal” and timid to access.
(S.K. Thoth knows the same thing, but he’s much more compassionate and generous: he seeks to connect with others and awaken it in them. That’s what makes him truly a “divine messenger” like his namesake.)
I put away GG and became “normal” at age 15 when I realized that boys would never be interested in a girl from another planet. The choice seemed clear: creativity/full self-expression, or sex/popularity. Hormones won…
Many years later I am slowly reclaiming that exuberant creativity and the courage to live with an ever-more-open heart.
I am so grateful for Thoth’s fearless example — he reminds me that there is still, always, much farther to expand. And that every time one of us expands, it is a gift and encouragement to us all.
